And yet. I'm not supposed to be going insane or getting upset. This is where God has me. This is where He wants me. I'm here for a purpose and it isn't to get upset with my siblings who won't listen or hide away in my room so I won't become frustrated with the mess around me. Because really, It isn't that messy. And I don't need to worry about it. I'm not saying that you should ignore a messy house and goof off. I'm saying... Don't let it consume you. Don't let it be the only thing on your mind. Because those little siblings are going to grow up, and those older siblings are going to move away. And cleaning a messy house and yard are not why God put you here.
Praise Him.
That is why you are here. To praise Him. To show Him, To share Him. To bless your family. To love your family. To make memories with your family.
And yet here I am upset because dishes aren't done. I'm a dreamer. I want to go places! I want to do big things! I want my family to be proud of me. But I'm stuck in this rut of clean,clean,clean,clean until thats all I do. I don't play instruments, I don't sit and paint, I don't write, I don't bake... I clean. And I'm done being there. I'm done with this rut.
When I think of my rut I think of this one time when I was mowing our yard. I was finishing the ditch which is a little steep, when I began to go straight up it for some reason. Anyway it wouldn't budge. I was pressing on the gas pedal but nothing happened and when I stopped pressing I rolled back down the ditch.
Thats what it's like sometimes. I'm pressing go but nothings happening.
Well, guess what?!?! I'm done on that mower. I'm going to get into a monster truck and get up this Mountain in my life. Alright enough with the vehicle analogy.. Sorry if I lost you there for a bit but, I'm serious though. I've never been so glad to realize what a Victim of Grace I really am.
This is my big opportunity. It's time to change.
